What does a dying mall smell like?

Incense!

I went to my local mall today because I needed a new belt. I parked by the Macy's but decided to take a jaunt through the coridoors of the mall, prehaps get a pretzel and pick up Speaker of the Dead.


So I walk through the store, and my nose is asaulted by the perfume counter, and I'm jonesing for the fresh air beyond the MAcy's, waiting for the delightful smells of the dwindling food court, sweet S'barro and the fries of Wendy's.

Only those smells were masked throughout the mall, masked by incense, wafting from the the many kiosks that line the halls. Kiosks that outnumber the stores it seems, selling crappy Jamaican hats and multi-game bootleg Nintendos.

Oh the joys of the ghetto mall.

I look forward to the day I move and am close to a nice large mall, that doesn't stink in a figurative and literal sense.

China Panda Grand Opening!

I recieved a menu announcing the Grand Opening of China Panda, serving Chinese and Thai food.

Bear with me for a moment, as I describe the front of the menu. See if you can spot the

They proudly cook in 100% vegetable oil, announced in a bubble at the top of the menu!

Directly across from that is another bubble, which announes "New York Style"


wait a second.....


let that sink in.....

New York Style Chinese Food....

New York Style... CHINESE FOOD!

Thank you delivery guy, for leaving me a menu which shows me the evils in the world.

I thought of my first joke for my eventual comedy act

So nobody steal it.

Here goes:

"Driving in Atlanta traffic has made me a cruel person. The other morning I hopped in the car and turned to a traffic report to determine my route and I heard 'cident. Once against that is a fatality accident on 575 northbound.' and my first thought wasn't 'How horrible, someone died!' no, instead it was 'Thank G-d that's not on my route!"