My Punchline Debut

Here's the video of my first time doing stand up comedy. It was a dream of mine and I finally achieved it. Now that my wedding is finished and I've had some time to work on some new material, I'll be doing it again. And of course I will record it (hopefully in video form, but at least in audio form) and share it here.

Irony on the train

I saw irony in action this morning on the bus. A skrawny, skinny little white chick gets on the train wearing an Apple Bottom jacket.



That could be either irony or false advertsing. If you look at a woman's back and it says Apple Bottom, then that is what you'd expect to see. When you instead see... nothing... you can't help but laugh.

Why are rappers trying to be rock musicians?

I'm sure by now you've heard te abysmal "Party Like A Rock Star" by the Shop Boys. It's sets my eye twitching just thinking about the cries of 'Totalllllllly dude!"

Yesterday on the radio I heard a crappy song sampling "Rock N' Roll All Nite" by Kiss and bragging about a rock star life.


Seriously people, this is going too far. Sampling a rock song for a rap song is fine. A little unoriginal, but it can be done well (see the Trick Daddy song that sampled Crazy Train, and Nas - Theif's Theme where he samples Ina-Godda-Da-Vida).

I know rock stars live luxurious lifestyles you see on MTV, and live on a seemingly different level than rockers, though in years past rockers started wearing bling and crap like that. but that doesn't mean yuo need to start wearing a "skul belt and wallet chain" (accessories I heard rapper about in both above mentioned crappy songs). Honestly, how many people still wear wallet chains? A few skaters maybe, but those went the way of the Jnco ultra huge baggy jeans back years ago in high school.

While this is annoying, it can lead to unintentionally humor. Homegrown pretenders and wanna be rappers on MySpace are always funny, but ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present:
The Ruby Redd Band

http://www.myspace.com/therubyreddband


Take a listen and tell me that isn't hilariously awesomely lame!

Encouragement in the most unlikely places.

I'm a white male and I date a black woman, a relationship that unfortunately still causes some raised eyebrows from time to time. No one has ever said anything negative to my face, but on occasion you'll see those disproving stares or the sidelong glances.

The other weekend though we were at a RaceTrac gas station getting their Icee knock-off, and as we walked in another guy was walking up to the door as well. A freakin' tall dude looks at us and says: "The world needs more of that, that's how I got here."

How awesome is that?

Doesn't Mirapex sound AWESOME?!

It's a pill for Restless Leg Syndrome.

Potential side effects? It can increase your desire to gamble and have sex.

GREAT! BUt the restlessness of my legs has moved to my loins.

I wonder who the first guy was...

Who said "Why don't you get a better job!" When some kid asked him "Hey mister, how about a tip?"

I'm gonna start a band!

It's gonna be easy. I'll find a bunch of Mexicans and have them play pop-punk covers. We'll call the band GreenCard.

Is that a lower back tattoo?

T-Mobile strikes again!

Scene: 2 guys sitting in a diner eating. The Asian guy asks his white friend for another guy's work number. The white guy leans forward to get his cell phone out and his shirt rides up on his back. What is there? A tramp stamp.

Asian guy: "Is that a lower back tattoo?"
White guy: "Yeah, fresh ink"
Asian guy: "Player?"
White guy: "No man, playA"

The Asian guy whips out his phone and starts fiddling with it.

White guy: "What are you doing?"
Asian guy: "Taking you out of my 5. Possibly out of my life."


Kudos T-Mobile. I love your commercials above most cell phone provider commercials.

Live Free or Die Hard!

Was GREAT!

Anyone who knows me in real life knows I have trouble watching movies sometimes. My inner cynic just won't shut off. I get pissed off at the impossible feats for some reason. I only had ONE moment like that, when a Nokia cellphone/PDA was used to do some crazy stuff.

Aside from that I had a great time. Suprisingly the PG-13 didn't feel like much of a hinderance, though there is at least one scene that will probably be restored in an R or Un Rated DVD, as well as a few places that seemed to me like langauge edits.

So if you haven't seen it yet, please go do so. It' the best movie I've seen this summer, easily kicking the crap out of POTC3 and Spider-Man 3.

Next on the docket... Transformers! Michael Bay don't fail me now!

Why is Jennifer Love Hewitt in you Top 5?

I have a certain fondness for cell phone commercials. The new T Mobile commercial is brilliant.

Two friends in a restaurant, one sees JLH in the other's Top 5. "Why is Jennifer Love Hewitt in you Top 5?" "We're kind of seeing each other" "Prove it. Call her."

So the guy proceeds to call the JLH number in his phoen and asks if he left some green socks in her tub, and if she can wash them. He carries this off with aplomb, his friend is stunned. However we see where the phone rings, and it looks like a pizzaria, where a pimply faced guy answers the phoen and listens for a moment before yelling "STOP CALLING HERE!"


Oh T Mobile, your and Verizon's commercials are pretty funny. My carrier CIngular.. not so much.

Delta Farce (Trailer)

Anyone else find this piece of crap just a little offensive towards the people who are actually in places like Fallujah?

The Return of Stinky Ads!

Anyone who read a gaming magazine during the heydey of the SNES has (not so) fond memories of the print ads for Earthbound. The game was essentially a Japanese NES game that was ported to the SNES. Set in modern times, you ate hamburgers and drank sodas instead of taking health potions. Checking in barrels? Heck no. In the town of Onette you look in trash cans.

So, it was a wonderful game, but that ads for it literally stunk. Nasty, putrid smells. They're the stuff of legend on gaming message boards.

It seems that Microsoft has taken notice with their new print ads for Forza 2. Yes, these ads have a flap you can open, much like a perfume ad, and you get a smell. And not a pleasant one. I have no scanner, so I'm going to describe the ad here, and tell you to pick up an issue of EGM to experience it for yourself. Someone could send me a scan of it, and I'll post it here, but honestly, you've got to see (and smell) this for yourself. Honestly, having it sitting here on my desk is making me a little naseous.


We see a nice render of a sports car, with white lettering beneath it which reads 'There's only one thing tje game doesn't give you." And then you open the flap and see "The Smell. This is the scent produced by the Nissan Fairlady Z as it pulls away from the starting grid using 275/35-19 Toyo Proxes R888 racing tires inflated to 42 PSI"

I see complaints about the ad being in the letters section of just about every mag this ad runs in.

The funniest commercial I've seen all week.

It was for some local couch place, stating they were going out of business, so we should come in and take advantage of their deals because they were closing at 8pm.

The funny thing? It aired at 8:15pm.

You think the advertising guy at that place had something to do with their going out of business?

Mountain Dew... late to the party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIgey9NLdhk

Have you seen this commercial?

I just saw it this evening, so it could be a little older, but I watch a fair bit of TV, so I think it's newish.

The set up has 2 kids watching a video they've made which has just recieved one million views. The video in question? An ostrich with a Chuck Norris head.

HOW FUNNY!

Wait... no... I meant:

HOW LATE!


Honestly, Chuck Norris jokes were at the peak popularity almost a year ago. Had this commercial come then it owuld have been timely and funny. I remember we were at a restuarant for a friend's birthday telling these jokes, and our waitress kicked in a few new ones from the list her supervisor had posted in the back.

I haven't made a Churck Norris joke in the longest time. This ad would have been better saved for the eventual resurgence that most fads have at one time or another.

Poor show Mountain Dew. Try and be a little more up on net culture. What's next, an "o rly" owl campaign?

Family Guy has revealed my pizza scam!

In the episode "Prick Up Your Ears" Mayor Adam West orders a pizza. When the pizza man comes, West opens the pizza box and goes "You brought me canadian bacon, and I wanted regular bacon!" and throws the pizza box down.


In college we would order two pizzas. One pepperoni and one canadian bacon. A few times the pizza place would send one with regular bacon. Then we would call them up, inform them of the mix up, and BAM! free pizza.

Well, Sony does ONE thing right.

And that is the ads for Ratchet and Klank. The commercials are all similar, just like the games. And also similar to the games, they're consistently good.


The current commercial is for the PSP version of the game. The kids are showing off the new shrink ray. It's a quasi-nightvision shot during a a camping trip. Four guys are gonna use the shrink ray so that the one guy can see the girls changing. They shrink him (a nice looking effect for a commercial) and as he makes a run for the girls' tent, an owl swoops down and steals him.


This is the clever advertising Sony needs. not the creepy anamatronic baby commercial from the PS3 launch.

Someone take an AXE to their marketing department!

I hate the current Axe commercial. Their commercials are pretty lowbrow, but this one is just... I'm suprised it's still on the air. I would have thought a feminist group would havescreamed to high heaven by now.

There are several versions of different length, but in general it's a mass of attractive women in bikini's swimming, running through a jungle, and hurdling over one another in an attempt to grap a man who is spraying two cans of Axe over himself. The camera zooms out to show the breathtaking scale of the stampeding women, and we're greeted with the new commercial's tag line "Spray more get more."

Spray more get more. Get more what? Women in general? Sex? I know it's purposely ambiguous, but come on, be a little more original in showing that this aerosol spray scent is going to get me more women.

LAME!
LAME!
LAME!

Can someone explain something to me about economics?

I'm an Accountant, so I have a better than average grasp of financial issues. One thing that continues to mystify me is how on one hand we are happy that consumer spending is up and then lament the negative savings rate.

If the savings rate has been negative for awhile now, wouldn't it seem that the only way consumer spending could go up is if savings continued to go negative.

We also wring our hands over the fact that the house-come-ATM market is going belly-up and the deplorable practices of Capital One, while depending on the money that comes from these sources.

We need to strike a balance between being able to make money as a business and protecting the individual (who is often too stupid to know better).

Holy crap

If you do a google search for "Verizon Envy commercial" my blog is the first site that pops up. It's nothing huge, but I still think it's pretty cool.

Did you think I wouldn't notice HP?!

I'm referring of course to HP's most recent "Making the Computer Personal Again" commercial. During Christmas they aired a commercial showing the torso of Santa Claus, and the voice discussing what he does with his laptop was supplied by Tim Allen. This was likely done as a little cross promotion for The Santa Clause 3.

But now the commercial has the same visuals and supplies another generic Santa voice. Why not keep Tim Allen? He's a good VA, better than generic dude that does it now.